Wednesday, February 17, 2010

One fIne dAy





‘ok kita dah boleh start. Jom-jom’
‘tak nak kenalkan diri ke kat adik-adik? 1st time jumpa ni. Cakaplah; saya senior. Tak lama lagi dah nak kahwin. Naik pangkat jadi puan’ :P
‘ish...takpe kak. Takpe kak. Malu la’

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‘sorry la. Setelah difikir-fikirkan & berbincang, ndwa memang tak dapat terima your future husband as part of ndwa divisions. Minta maaf banyak-banyak.’
‘takpe kak. Takpe.’ Senyum.
‘takpe. Walaupun tak sama tapi still boleh buat collaboration. Kan? Kan?’
‘ok kak. Kalau macam tu saya nak buat club baru la akak.’
‘apa? Apa?’ teruja.
‘persatuan ibu-ibu muda.’
‘Cool’ weee

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‘congrats! Akak ke orang pertama yang cakap tahniah?’ :P
‘tak lah. Orang kat kursus kahwin hari tu dah cakap.’
Ceit, ‘ala tu lain. Tak peduli. Nak jadi the 1st person jugak. Ingat tau, simpan dalam ingatan, tulis dalam diari, masuk dalam blog entry,’
‘ye la…ye la’

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True love isn’t a person. It’s an idea. An unattainable one.  It is a question of how rather than who. It’s about the mind over the matter. If you don’t mind then it doesn’t matter.


‘A likes B. Something was going on between both of them long time ago. And now, C likes B. Of course, C is a newcomer.’

‘What about B? Her feeling is the major concern. She’s the one to decide.’

‘When you just woke up in one fine morning and learned that there are two people really fall for you, you are really in a vulnerable position.’

‘Indeed. It’s a mixture of emotions bounded by uncertainty.’

‘It’s actually confusion,’
‘That’s what people said...status: complicated.’

‘Ahaaa...describe love: a bunch of sinful people in a very complicated relationship.’

‘It won’t be that complicated if a person really has guidance’

‘Every single and each of mankind has one; it’s up to the individual. Follow it or follow the lust’

‘istiharah’

‘We plan He determines. Let Him to show the way out.’

‘Let’s figure this out. A + B: a history. B + C:  these-days story.’

‘harus benar-benar jelas apa basis hubungan. Berdasar pada kenangan atau perasaan.’

‘Interchangeable; boleh jadi satu pasangan yang terperangkap dalam ruang masa. Menyingkap kenangan dan memori semata. Tapi kalau itu yang jadi andalan boleh jadi semuanya hayalan. After some times, both will realize that they had grown up becoming two different people with uncommon characters. Recall the long lost memories is not sufficient, to keep them both together any longer.’

‘It could be the other way round. masa mematangkan manusia. Over the time, one will discover his real feeling with certainty. Bukan hanya setakat kasihan, dependency, menunjuk-nunjuk pada orang lain atau sekadar mengikut arus semasa or based on popular opinion.’

‘I have no problem with kasihan- based relationship. At least it’s better that getting confused between love and lust. Kasihan at least enable you to think rationally but lust – it’s a horrible monster that makes you believe; love is blind. Kemudian buat yang merepek-merepek, galak dan aneh-aneh. Menyusahkan diri’

‘manusia tu boleh jatuh cinta dengan pelbagai cara. Cara hanya sebagai pemula. Selebihnya terpulang manusia. samada mahu mencari erti dan memberi nilai dalam hubungan dengan commitment dan rasa tanggungjawab atau sekadar memikirkan kepuasan perasaan sahaja.’

‘Let B to choose A. Boleh jadi itu benar cinta boleh jadi itu hanya memori semata. Terpesona dengan nostalgia masa lalu1. Bukan saling memerlukan tapi hanya ingin mengulang keindahan masa lampau1. Soon B will realize the truth.  Akan kecewa andai terus bersama1. And at that moment nak patah balik ke C is almost impossible.’

‘And let B to settle down with C. Kerana itu dikira cinta hatinya sekarang.  But over the time, she may notice that she can only let C into her life as a friend, no more than that. Mungkin atas dasar kasihan atau merebut peluang yang ada atas ruang dan masa. Dan sebenarnya yang ada dalam hati rupanya hanya A.’

‘Complicated’

‘Human emotions aren’t complicated. We build them to be ones’

‘The power of mind. The help of the devil. The burden of sins’

‘tak siapa boleh meramal masa hadapan, arif tentang perubahan pada perasaan dan membaca hakikat kebenaran sebuah hubungan’

‘Anything should be ok as a starting point. Selebihnya atas usaha manusia untuk terus kekal dalam ikatan yang halal. Pada pasangan ada kelemahan yang harus dimaafkan dan keistimewaan yang tak harus diabaikan1

‘We need no love to construct a marriage. We need love to preserve it. Tak mendapatkan apa yang diinginkan mungkin bukan bererti kekalahan, tapi lebih kepada kemenangan bersama1.’

‘kerana itu harus ada petunjuk’

‘dan sebaik petunjuk adalah dari Nya – Dia yang membolak balikkan hati. Dia yang mengawal jiwa dan perasaan.’

‘But it’s difficult to achieve. Many seem comfortable following their intuition.’

‘Of course. It’s undeniable. Untuk benar-benar pasrah dan bertawakkal dalam menentukan masa hadapan adalah sesuatu yang sukar dan memerlukan kesungguhan. The fear of something that’s out of our control.  Scared of the unknown.’

‘benar-benar satu usaha gigih’

‘tahniah pada yang benar-benar berjaya’

‘Kudos’

 
1 bulat-bulat sebiji sebetik ayat-ayat dari Saudari bintang; satu kontrak pernikahan.


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A thesis advisor (TA), a student (S) and ratification for her graduating paper.


TA: thank God. Finally, you are able to complete the study. So, what’s your next plan?

S, thinking that the TA talking about the thesis has said: publish it?

TA frowned with unbelievable facial expression. Alamak, dah salah jawab ke. 

S, an attempt not to look impossible as ever: err, u mean after finishing the course?

TA, can’t no longer wait for the answer: get married. Settle down.

Are we talking about kesoal-hatian dan kejiwaan now?

S: it might take some times before it happens. It’s a long way to it.

TA: don’t wait for too long.  Mid 20s is a right time to start a family.

S, which is not yet 25: you must have gotten married early then.

TA: not that early. At the age of 25. The youngest now is 7 y-o. But some of my colleagues got married quite late. Their children are still young, around 2y-o.

Ok, is this one of the free- of- charge premarital counseling session? Does she look like a person that’s scared of commitment?

S: things are difficult nowadays. Working will steal most of the time in life

TA: control it

S: don’t even think of seeing anyone now

TA: don’t take too much time to get to know a person.  I got married after 2 months I knew him.

S: so it’s a love after marriage thingy. I’m only 24 this year. 

TA: then, this is the time. My mum had asked me this since I was 18. She wanted to make things easier for me. At that time of course I refused but now I realize and appreciate her intention.  Well-organized plan for your future; when you are old and your children are all grown up.

LAUGH...dalam hati je la, kang kena cop tak serious pulak. Smile. nak jaga diri pun menggagau. 

S: my mum shares the same opinion with you

TA: indeed. What’s more important for a woman than a marriage? It’s like a paradigm shift in one’s life.

S: then you may pray for me.

TA: insya Allah





The TA is one of a kind. The way she runs her life doesn’t really show how homey and motherly she can be. She is a kind-hearted one, of course. Very open and understanding. But she’s also among the busiest one, no doubt -  seminars, back and forth from faculty to Australia, research and paper works, classes.  Long waiting and facing quite a lot of difficulties just to see her.  And to have one fine day, after approving the ratification letter, talking peacefully about future and marital life is something abnormal. It’s in fact good for the world to have a career woman with a heart solely meant only for her family and kids. Letting them to be the top priority in her life. 



Selamat menjalani hidup berdua bagi yang baru, sedang dan akan berumah tangga. Selamat beramal!



will be having a tough exam next week on Monday. Your prayers are all i need. Thank you.