Tuesday, February 26, 2008


i have a stunning big sister
she was once like a shimmering star in the middle of the dark sky
she used to be a multi-talent award winner
the industry’s very sweet heart
for her dazzling and witty live performances with the great smile that brightens the day

couples of years back
she did shock the society
saying that she will no longer be free
to make used of her talent and beauty in making money
as she has found her own one sweet journey
to the direction of her Creator, the Ilahi
and I was so extremely happy

Time passes by
Her fans keep on screaming her names unstoppable
The producers come with offers which are incredibly irresistible
The reporters still insist letting her off by their sight
Her news, her pictures were captivated everywhere on tabloids
Callings for her to fill up the empty space are undeniable
to lighten the gloomy arena of stars that full of deceives

indeed, her heart is greatly shaken
her stand is deeply tested and questioned
the desire to make a comeback is getting stronger and wilder
the glamour and popularity are seen so real
her dreams are still breathing and never die
and I am so up set
as she is once again drowning and risking her deen

People waited impatiently for her appearance
They scream her name,
give a round of applause
and praise her for her astounding appearance
Over the time
The hijab is getting shorter
The top is getting tighter,
the dress is pretty revealing

At the end
No more hijab to cover her chest
Dancing, singing, yelling on stage
As if she never once changed
never ever she would be the same

My heart is cut opened and bleeding
Seeing the way she socializes with her non-mahram
Watching her on tv have made me realized
She is not the only one that should be blamed

It is me that very much ignorant
For too prioritize the nafs
Over the belief and the deen
She is not the only example
For the sick miserably condemn attitude

How could i be so unreasonable?
Be irresponsible to my own sister
In this holy faith…in Islam
O Allah, please don’t let me be a fitnah in Your very blessed religion
Don’t let me sacrifice the akhirat for the sake of the dunya
"They said: In Allah we put trust. Our Lord! Oh, make us not a lure for the wrongdoing folk;
And, of Thy mercy, save us from the folk that disbelieve."
Jonah 10:85-86

there is a work which everybody must do
but somebody thinks that anybody could do it
and everybody thinks that somebody is doing it
but actually nobody is doing it
.:dan tugas itu adalah sebuah pengorbanan bernama dakwah-
forgive me Allah for being so insensible:.
"Our Lord! Make us not a (test and) trial for the unbelievers, but forgive us, our Lord! for Thou art the Exalted in Might, the Wise."
Mumtahanah 60:05
::selamat menunaikan kewajiban yang satu ini (peringatan buat diri sendiri yang paling utama), yang telah sekian lama dilupa,
kerana selalu terleka dengan nikmat kesenangan dunia
maupun kesibukan yang sementara::

Sunday, February 17, 2008


“Beauty lies in the eyes of beholders”, “beauty is skin deep”, “don’t judge a book by its cover”. Terlalu banyak yang cuba membicarakan tentang kecantikan, kadang-kadang kerana terlalu ingin mempamerkan sikap betapa tidak kisahnya terhadap kecantikan luaran, maka akan terlihatlah sifat hypocrite dalam diri sendiri. For example, “I’m totally ok with plastic surgery but not for my girl-I’ll appreciate her beauty the way she is”, or “kerana dirimu begitu beharga, maka pakailah cosmetics jenama cap X to enhance your natural beauty”.

Say one thing, but do another thing. Seolah-olah boleh terima kalau seseorang tak punya paras rupa yang cantik as the most essential item is her inner beauty but at the same time tingkat taraflah kecantikan luaran dengan menggunakan segala macam produk kecantikan, supaya semakin meningkatkan keyakinan diri. Apa, inner beauty tak cukupkah untuk meraih sebuah keyakinan? Keyakinan dalam diri seseorang yang cuba untuk diterima ramai dan keyakinan ramai untuk menerima seseorang yang hanya berbekal kecantikan dalaman.

For the first phrase, the one who is ok with plastic surgery but not for his girl, the first few moment the whole sentence seems so perfect and sounds so sweet as if the guy that saying those words would willingly accept whatever the physical deficit or lack in appearance of his beloved girl, be that she is butt-ugly, extremely obese or with a grave dental caries or persistent dermatological problems. But going through the same line for the second time, the hesitation and doubt were filling the atmosphere. Was the former the genuine meaning of those words or what the guy was trying to say just merely that he wanted a drop dead naturally gorgeous looking girl? Tak main la yang pakai silicon and artificial tapi mesti yang semulajadi cantik. At the end, the outcome is the same (say ‘yes’ to cantik) with different means. One is in the gene but the other is in the doctors’ hands. Still want the pretty one even though cakap macam tak cukup verbs punya menggalakkan orang supaya tidak menjadikan rupa paras sebagai kayu pengukur.

‘200lbs beauty’, a Korean movie had given us reasons to love every single thing about ourselves regardless our look. The main question: was it so much fun trying to fulfill other’s expectation on you? Especially those from Sirius, Canopus or Arcturus that expected everybody in this planet called earth was born to be as beauty and perfect as angels, with white, fair and flawless undeniable perfect skin like snow white with the ideal size and measurement of all the body curves. Not to mention the facial contour and tone and lets not forget about the straight, smooth, silky, shiny long hair.

Would a person be happy just by letting other satisfied with her new bombastic look but at the same time struggled in every and each moment searching for her own identity and personality. Do people know her for who she is inside or for her physical beauty? Was it too much to ask to date or to be in love with an over-weight person? Was it too difficult to face the world for falling for a so-not-that pretty girl? Simple and easy questions with complex and quantum-level answers. It tells how people nowadays think that by becoming beautiful, they can save the world and be superheroes. And it also reveals that how people had already lost their trust on others, most of them don’t even have the gut to believe that there are people out there that still looking for other than external attraction.

There was a story about beauty.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who just entered the teenage life. Sesi persekolahan, baru sahaja bermula and she had just begun her baby steps into alam persekolahan yang lebih tinggi. Budak perempuan ini walaupun zahirnya kasar but for those closed to her could really read her heart yang sama seperti remaja-remaja yang lain in which there were times when she had given a bit excessive focus and attention to one out of hundreds of the opposite-sex students in that school. True, some of her friends got to know about it even though most of the paid no heed of what’s going on. Even though the little innocent girl had tried her best to keep her fond-cum-admiration as a top secret ever.

Came from a small family and appeared to be the only daughter, she mainly relied on her friends and the situation before she was going to take any single significant action that most probably would affect her life terrifically. She was not like any other girl in that school which were very much decent, bersopan santun, pemalu dan bertapis. She was the type that so unbelievably direct, outspoken and riang ria gelak ketawa di mana berada tanpa mengira masa. Not a perfect candidate to be admired at that particular age. She wasn’t as ayu as her head girl and the rest but people did forget that she also had the similar heart to the head girl which contained feelings. It was not that she loved to be boyish but that was what others called her. As if, no chance for her to seek for any single improvement to become a better, well-mannered growing young lady.

Days passed by, the batch was planning to make a party- a batch party since that year might be the final year for some of them who decided to move on to a better school in future. The committee decided to do some gift exchange. They would randomly select the students – every one should prepare a gift and would be given according to the random selection which was done weeks earlier. She was lucky, she got the one that she liked and she did prepare him with a special present bought by her father abroad. She did hand him the present and nothing happened after that but it was ok with her. She felt pleased that she could give something to the one that she liked.

Then, it was his birthday. On his birthday which was a few days earlier than hers, she made him a birthday card and bought him a present. She thought the idea was ok but she still wanted to ask one of her closed friends about that. Her friend remained silent once she told her about the birthday gift and wish. It was not that the friend did not want to understand her wish but her friend was too scared the she might get hurt. Honestly, deep down in her friend’s heart, there was a bad feeling of what would happen later. But her friend just could not stress much on her objection as she would not have a heart to make her down once she looked at her radiant happy face. She was so excited and what the best that her friend could do was to plaster a faking smile and pray hard inside that she would never get hurt. She might be innocent but not a moron. She sensed insincerity on her friend’s face and did ask for an answer. Her friend by right then knew that she could not hide a thing from her and spill her uneasy feeling.

Yeah, crazy thing people do for love. She knew but she just could not care anymore. She really wanted to give him the present together with her hope. She did expect something in return for her birthday deep down in her heart. That was the reason for her friend’s concern. Expectation may kill a heart, cut it open and let it bleed, scarring and unhealed. Her friend’s nightmare came true.
No birthday present or even a wish on her birthday. Nope, she was not broken yet until she knew that he forgot her birthday – a person that gave him a birthday present but he could remember other girl’s birthday which fell on the same date as hers - which was not even his girlfriend. Weird and aching as it heard but the most hurtful was it because she was not that pretty and reached his expectation. She was not ask him to give his heart to her, just a simple birthday wish in return or he could give her nothing, she would let it go forgotten but he should not give some other girl’s a birthday present – to symbolize a sign of rejection for the former one. It was just too hard and too much to cope for an innocent
growing up lady like her.

And for her friend, she felt so guilty that she was not trying hard enough and being strict to her. To kill her high expectation earlier so that she won’t be in such a bad shape and deeply wounded.
But now her friend was so happy for her, she was now – after 7 years has found her match. The one that accepts the way she is today, be patient with her immature attitude and reckless manners without she even has to work hard on enhancing her external beauty. Now that her friend knew that there are people out there that still looking for the inner beauty other than artificial plastic surgery or cosmetic products. FIN

It’s a well-known information tentang larangan to celebrate valentine. No need to bring the matter on the table. Just as a reminder, got to go back to basic bila memperkatakan soal hati dan perasaan, kena telus dalam bertanya pada diri, apakah kualiti diri yang cuba ditampilkan dalam sesuatu hubungan dan apakah kualiti yang cuba dilihat dalam diri orang lain. Mungkin semuanya dapat dijawab dengan persoalan apakah hasil yang hendak dituai di akhir sebuah ikatan.

ada cerita perempuan yang kurang cantik tak berumah tangga tapi ada juga cerita perempuan cantik yang sering menjadi siulan di sepanjang jalan, perasan diri lawa lalu menunggu pasangan yang sepadan meminang akhirnya menjadi mayat di rumah orang-orang tua – the life we run is so unpredictable, life is like a roller-coaster…
I wish i could tie you up in my shoes

Make you feel unpretty too

I was told I was beautiful

But what does that mean to you

Look into the mirror who's inside there

The one with the long hair

Same old me again today

My outsides are coolMy insides are blue

Every time I think i'm through

It's because of youI've tried different ways

But its all the same

At the end of the day I have my self to blame

I'm just trippin

You can buy your hair if it won't grow

You can fix your nose if he says so

You can buy all the make-up that M.AC. can make

But if you can't look inside you

Find out who am I too

Be in a position to make me feel

So damn unpretty

I'll make you feel unpretty to

Never insecure until I met you

Now I'm bein stupid

I used to be so cute to me

Just a little bit skinny

Why do I look to all these things

To keep you happy

Maybe get rid of you

And then i'll get back to me.....

guess this song would fit the movie better

Tuesday, February 12, 2008


how guilty a human can be
A story for my friends……

I have a friend
She is so nice to me
I feel lucky that I found her
When I’m down, she‘ll be by my side
She laughs for all the jokes I’ve made
Even most of the times,
Often I failed to find the funny part

I have a friend
She lights my day whenever I see dark cloud
She does shield me from the burning sun
She stands for me for any reason
She will make an effort to protect me

Be there's hell or high water
She umbrellas me from the heavy rain
She offers me comfort from the lightning and storm

I have a friend
There’s a day in our life
When I said that I will be standing for my right
I will be protecting my aurat and proud of my hijab
She replied that she will help me with all her strength
She will be supporting me regardless the condition
Even it means that she has to run a picket
She will happily do it for the sake of our friendship

But I’m not happy with it
Her very words brought silence in me
Listening to her sayings had bled my heart
I’m guilty to her
I have ignored her right
I have hidden the truth
I forget my responsible
I’m selfish

We are friends
We are in the same group
We have attended the same class
We have been helping each other for the rest of the year
We do respect one another
I told her my stories
The parents, siblings, school, study and friends
But indeed I never let her knows this one great thing
The most important and vital tale
The sacred saga of LA ILAHA ILLALLAH
The very true one and only story of
My religion, my faith and my soul
I flunk to introduce her, the beauty of Islam
How can I, o Allah, be so self-centered?
I’m sorry my friend, how guilty I am

selamat berdakwah (to "invite" people to understand the worship of Allah)

selamat mengislah (to purify, straightening our way of life)

semoga diberkati Allah

ya Allah, taqabbal minna du'aana

innaka antas sami'ul 'alim

o Allah, please accept our prayer

indeed You are all-listening, all-knowing

"Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance." - an nahl 16:125