undER His umbReLLa

Missing slide
Broken slide
Never-end syllabus
Unfinished lecture notes
No idea to identify the specimen for pathology
Useless microscope
Skills-lab-reschedule planning
Osce training

Ok, so many to catch in a little given time
What a perfect practical session:
-came late (but no one noticed)*relief
-series of experiments with the beloved lab microscope just to find out at the end that it can’t be used at all
-a classic session with kankeikan on how to use natural light as the ultimate source in observing the specimens
-accidentally broke the slide while trying to take it out
-the slide has been cruel to the group by letting itself gone with wind
-Cross-exam with the lab assistant on ‘how the slide went off undetected’
-another Q&A session on ‘how to replace the broken slide’
-the reschedule for responsive session for skills lab somehow intermingled with the pathology review

Almost uttered a cry of despair after breaking the slide
Went blank and admitted sort of a bit down before the broken slide
The enthusiasm to thoroughly revising the rest of the slides flew away
Leaving this person in…..depression?
Ups, guess too much exaggeration
Slide pecah je
Tu pun dah gelabah
Hampeh betul

But so true
This person...
Often small things become big to her
Ish....really have to work hard to control the emotion
And keep simple things simple
Takat ujian berapa kerat pun tak terlarat
How in heaven’s name would she face a tougher challenge?
In her deen
to performe the ibadah and her worshiping to Him
improving her faith and encouraging others to abide by Islam
And avoiding the evil ways
Indeed, this person is so vulnerable and weak
Forever she hopes to be protected under His umbrella
In here and the next life

tauBah

Found this story while trespassing other’s blog:
A man was asked about his condition after his hand being amputated- due to committing a robbery
The repented man said:
‘tangan yang mencuri tak layak ada kat jasad yang melafaz la ilaha illallah...’

masha Allah (as Allah has willed)
Praise to Allah
Glories to Allah
The One who controls the men’s heart
Let me be among those
That You bestow
The ones that are granted with the sweetness of taubah
The eternal bliss of syukur
The honor and pleasure of worshiping You
Up to my very final breath
Until the last part of my life

When people do hesitate and argue about the punishment, this man is so redha with his fate
He puts his trust in Allah
And accepts his lot calmly
Allah will never let His slaves down
Those who believe the Day of Judgment
He will endow them with guidance
He will bless the hearts with tranquility
Protection over the disappointment and depression
And the everlasting victory in the next life

Terasa diri sangat berdosa
Adakah mata yang melihat perkara lagha layak berada di jasad yang yang menyebut syahadah?
Bagaimanakah mulut yang mengumpat dan berkeluh kesah dalam masa yang sama bisa melafaz syahadah?
Adakah hati yang kotor diselaputi dosa punya ruang dalam jasad yang mengakui kalimah syahadah?
May Allah accept my taubah
May Allah guide me closer to Him
Indeed this soul is sinful
Really long for His salvation
Guarding me from going astray

Semoga selepas ini jasad yang menyebut kalimah suci syahadah bukan jugak jasad yang sama yang buat perkara yang terlarang, lagha dan sia-sia
May Allah guide the Muslims’ souls
Fear nothing but Him
The One and only
Can’t help from asking myself: the man already feels the sweetness in ibadah, saya bila lagi?
o Allah, semoga kemanisan itu saya capai segera
Ameen

syuKur

Pagi yang cerah, udara yang nyaman, burung-burung berterbangan dan sang suria yang baru nak menunjukkan diri di sebalik awan.what a perfect atmosphere to start a day. Dan hari ni dia nak start balik activity with the juniors-sort of a monthly Islamic discussion.

Ok. First, recite the holy Koran. Then, discuss the tafsir of the chosen verses-the ones that were read. After that, move on to other topics. Sounds so easy, right? Tapi biasa la, bila pepagi yang nyaman dan menggembirakan yang sepatutnya diisi dengan bersenang-lenangan di atas katil atau bermalas-malasan, telah diganggu dengan duduk bersama and having a discussion, it seems like the brain was being cruel to the body by reluctantly cooperated to answer all the questions even though the simple ones. For an example, “ok, apa lessons from the verses yang baru dibaca tadi?” Rasa kesian jugak kacau keindahan pagi diorang, tapi kalau tak start sekarang, she would not know when she will be sitting with them and having the discussion as the exam just around the corner, takut pulak nak kacau diorang time tuh. Maka keheningan pagi diorang pun diganggu gugat oleh dia.

Dalam blur yang nampak macam tak bekesudahan, tetiba ada yang nak menjawab soalan, alhamdulillah, praise to Allah, the Creator of the universe, it was indeed a good start. “ayat ni menerangkan tentang nikmat yang Allah kasi kat kita yang memang secara percuma.” Dia memandang pada yang bercakap, pada mata yang berkaca. “semua yang Allah kasik adalah percuma, oxygen yang kita inhale, adalah antara nikmat yang hari-hari kita dapat pada hal kat dunia ni mana ada yang free of charge kan? Hanya nikmat yang Allah kasi je yang free.” Ada butiran manik-manik jernih mengalir. Hati tetiba terasa tesentuh. “Makanya kita kena sentiasa bersyukur atas setiap nikmat yang Allah kasi kat kita di dunia ini” menghabiskan ayat sambil tangan perlahan mengesat manik-manik kecil yang berderaian menuruni pipi. Sungguh budak ini....

Dan budak itu merupakan forerunner for that session. Because once a person had started to speak the rest would follow the trend, started to open their mouth dan rasa mengantuk pun berkurang. Yeahh... just like in the rotten apple syndrome, but in this case, this is never a rotten apple, not even close. Dan sungguh after the discussion, hati masih tersentuh dengan apa yang dilihat. Akal cuba untuk mengingat-ingat kali terakhir she shed tears whenever she talked about the bersyukur thingy. Ada ke tak ade ek? But this girl, she was really proud of her, baru bertatih mendalami Islam, baru belajar untuk menutup aurat dan mengenakan tudung dengan sempurna, baru belajar untuk mengenal huruf al quran dan membasahkan lidah dengan menyebutnya, sudah gugur air mata bila memperkatakan tentang erti sebuah kesyukuran. Sungguh Allah memberikan hidayah pada sesiapa yang dikehendaki Nya. Dan sungguh besarnya pelajaran yang dia dapati pada hari itu, sangat menusuk ke jiwa dan benar-benar menyesak minda.

Sesak minda bertanya diri mengapa air mata jarang sekali gugur bila berbicara tentang syukur. Dan dia berharap agar tahun baru ini, air mata yang tumpah biar hanya pada 2 perkara: kerana insaf akan dosa yang lalu dan ingin bertaubat kerana tak mau dimasukkan ke dalam golongan hambanya yang kufur lalu diseksa di neraka. Dan yang kedua biarlah air mata hanya tumpah bila mengingati nikmat-nikmat Allah yang diberikan padanya. Cuba belajar dari seorang yang benar-benar menghayati erti syukur dan mengaplikasikan dalam kehidupan, bukan sekadar hanya pandai bertheory seperti dia. Dan air mata yang ditahan pun tumpah beserta dengan tekad yang cuba ditanam kuat-kuat dalam hati bila mana budak itu bertanya padanya, “akak, saya malu la nak cakap, saya tak pandai pun baca Quran. Macam mana ek?You said that we should try to read the holy Koran at least 3 pages per day for the beginning. Saya baca pun tak reti. Macam mana nak dapat sampai 3 pages ni?” terdetik di hati, indeed girl, you may not know how to read the holy Koran but Allah blessed your soul by teaching you on how to be grateful toward His bounties. Betapa Allah Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Penyayang – the most gracious and most merciful.

yeah...indeed, a very beautiful lesson from her God on her birthday-5 muharram 1429H

rEshuFfLe

Reshuffle
a common word with an amazingly profound meaning

Sometimes there is a strong urge to reshuffle the mentality
Because these creations called humans
Are easily become smug
And sort of arrogant
Too long in the pleasant state
So comfortable in the so like an endless position
Have made people gone haughty
Purposely or unintentionally
Leading to destruction of bonding and heart breakings

Often I count others’ mistakes
Always I try to hide mine
Too much I have been thinking of my feeling
Seldom have I spared my time to understand others
God, am I being too selfish?
Does anything matter to me?
Startled when the reality really strikes

Have to recollect own self
Repetitively reevaluate the state of iman
Correct all the wrongdoings
Asking nothing but for forgiveness and enlightenment
Wishing for lots of bounties and endless counts of blessings
And who despairs of the mercy of his Lord, but such as go astray? – Al Hijr 15:56

And as for man, when his Lord tries him, then treats him with honor and makes him lead an easy life, he says: My Lord honors me –al Fajr 89:15
But when He tries him (differently), then straitens to him his means of subsistence, he says: My Lord has disgraced me – al Fajr 89:16
Oh Allah, don't let me ever turn away from You
Let me to be Your thankful slave
Allow me to remember Your mercy and guidance
Remind me the fear of hellfire
I’m begging You to accept my prayer and my repentance
I do long for Your love and pardon
I’m missing Your jannah


Peringatan kat diri sendiri:
Jangan bercita-cita hanya pada sebatas kegembiraan dan sejalur pelangi yang mengalpakan di dunia, tapi semai dan suburkanlah harapan dan mimpi indah kebahagian yang abadi di sana

Ya Allah, janganlah Engkau menjadikan aku perlu kepada yang lain selain Engkau hingga aku terpaksa mengorbankan ibadah ku kepada Mu

Salam maal hijrah
Semoga tahun ini (1429 hijrah) lebih baik daripada sebelumnya
ameen

and i say a littLe prayEr

If we surrender our heart to any of the mankind
There would be no guarantee that our heart will be handled with care
No assurance that there will be no scar or be breaking
Love is about sharing and caring
But human beings are never perfect
Often we feel regret upon our own attitude
Sometimes we may depress with the one that we love much

We may betray a person that is so close to us
We may hold things back and don’t want to let them know
We may forgive but never forget
We may get hurt even we try to hide it
We may leave all the memories and don’t want to turn back
We may plaster a smile on our face even our heart can’t stop crying
They are the price for a human love

Too much thinking of pleasing others will lead us no where
Still breakable and totally helpless
Still the heart is beating with a melancholic rhythm
Even they say there will always a sun after the rain
But always the shine is too late to come
While the wind is without mercy stealing our hope and trust
Leave us stranded with nothing but fear

The tears, the devastation and frustration are never the enemies
Indeed they are true friends that remind us of The True Love
The One that we have been leaving for so long,
Missing from our heart due to our fondness for dunyya
The One and only where the hearts find rest (13:28)
The One that gained control upon human’s hearts
Did He not find thee an orphan and give thee shelter (and care)? (93:06)
He found thee wandering, and He gave thee guidance (93:07)
He found thee in need, and made thee independent (93:08)

Remember Allah and He will never leave us
Be grateful to Him and He will never neglect us
Ask for His forgiveness and He will give us His blessings
Do what He asked and He will save us forever
Turn away from the evil and He will endow us with guidance

Let the fear and hopes unite
Under the spirit of taqwa
Spread the wings of patience and faith
Prepare to fly away from the torment of hellfire
Steadfast in Islam and turn away from ignorance

"O (thou) soul, in (complete) rest and satisfaction!
"Come back thou to thy Lord, - well pleased (thyself), and well-pleasing unto Him!
"Enter thou, then, among My devotees!
"Yea, enter thou My Heaven!
(89:27-30)

.: may Janna al Firdaus be our only final destination:.
~ameen~

CaLLing yOu...

In the name of Allah
Owh, how I really miss a few good days
Old ones where I found myself
In a straight row waiting for a command
Of an imam to start a prayer

Allahu Akbar…
Allah is almighty

How I long to feel for calmness and tranquility
Sakinah (peace), mawaddah and mahabbah (love)
Between me and Him
Among the believers in the rows called sufuf (plural for saf)
Between the imam (leader) and the ma’mum (followers)

Ameen…“Oh Allah, accept our du’a”

Missing to say the word out loud so badly
Together with others in the saf
After the imam had finished reciting the beautiful holy verses of al Fatihah
Asking for Allah to lead us unto the right path
The very right one
The way of those whom He has bestowed
Neither the one that earned His anger
Nor the one that go astray
Neither the road taken by the Jews nor the Christians

How I miss to be part of the jamaah (congregation)
Together we listened to the wonderful calling of adhan (summons to public prayers)
Waiting passionately for iqamah (second call for the prayer which follows the ‘adhan’)
Free our mind and body from the hustle and bustle of this world
Letting go of this dunnya
Just to answer His calling
To worship Him in humble
Open the heart and soul to the amazing words
Praising my beloved one and only Allah

Allah is Great
I bear witness that there is no god except the One God (Allah)
I bear witness that Muhammad is the messenger of Allah
Hurry to the prayer (Rise up for prayer)
Hurry to success (Rise up for Salvation)
Prayer is better than sleep (for the pre-dawn prayer-fajr)
Allah is Great
There is no god except the One God (Allah)

‘Intizhom as-sufuf’
-Straighten the rows-

Waiting for others, together we straighten the saf
Stand close to one another
Facing the same kiblah
Waiting for the first takbir (takbir al ihram) by the leader
Get ready to face Him to purify the hearts
Hoping for His blessings and mountains of bounties
Not only in here but also in the hereafter

I really miss the joy, the serenity
Really miss to pray in the saf right after iqamah
Together is unity
The brotherhood in Islam
Is for real under His guide

The spirit, the glory, the good deed, the peace
Are all for real
By remembering of Allah do hearts find rest
O Allah, how can I be blind for all these while???

Narrated by Abu Huraira:
Allah's Apostle said, "When the Adhan is pronounced Satan takes to his heels and passes wind with noise during his flight in order not to hear the Adhan. When the Adhan is completed he comes back and again takes to his heels when the Iqamah is pronounced and after its completion he returns again till he whispers into the heart of the person (to divert his attention from his prayer) and makes him remember things which he does not recall to his mind before the prayer and that causes him to forget how much he has prayed” – sahih bukhari

.:happy eid adha to all. When I listened to the imam in the eid prayer, it reminded me the feeling of praying in jamaah just like in the secondary school donkey years ago.
All batches, the musalla was full with the worshippers, the time when we were reciting ma’thurat and yaasin together. How I miss the fun so much.

Rindu pada ramainya orang yang menghadirkan diri, rindu pada sesaknya musalla, rindu pada kuatnya bacaan ayat-ayat suci al Quran di setiap maghrib dan subuh. Juga rindu berebut-rebut menunggu giliran berwuduk dan memenuhkan saf yang paling depan. Rindu pada bacaan al mulk yang dilagukan beramai-ramai sebelum masuk tidur.

Indeed, they were good old days…