cLOseR thaN VeiN

Life is full of the unexpected
Sometime I might see its coming
Sometimes I didn’t get the hints
Or I might notice but I pay no heed
But the purpose of each trial is to enhance my faith
Which it’s hardly increasing and easily decreasing
Remember of Allah only in the hard time
So fast to forget own purpose on earth

With all those challenges in life have made me learnt things
Have made me realized
That the most important thing in handling those pandemonium
To return to those beautiful teachings
The ones that once long I left behind
The magnificence of Koran and Sunnah
How could I simply put them aside
Then wondering why my life is so messy
Who am I kidding?

These trials are no more than reminders
Allah may want me to evaluate
My own state of iman
Allah may want me to realize how insufficient time I spent for Islam
The lack of contribution and participation
How most of my time I struggle just to fulfill my dunia’s life
Just to attain good grade
Just to please people
Just to look cool in the eye’s of mankind

Very little I think of how to make Him happy
Hardly awake just for His forgiveness in the middle of night
Rarely do I pray for my brothers and sisters in Palestine, Lebanon, Iraq, Iran, Turkey and Afghanistan
Only few words I said about my brothers and sisters in southern Thailand, in Philippine, Ambon and Acheh
Barely in my life have I contributed for the sake of my beloved religion
Shedding tears when remembering the hardship they’ve been through
Or trying to spend some of my money to ease their pain
How selfish I am
My bad….my sin, how could I’ve just walked away and kept my hands clean?

Thank God, alhamdulillah praises be to Allah
These trials had let me thought straight
Had made me realized how I badly need to detach myself from the chain of ignorance
Enough is enough; it’s the time for a turnover
He is the Lord with lots of bounties
Glory only for Him
Never had He let me without His guide
Never had He dumped me even I continuously become a sinner
Never had He closed the door of taubah until my last breath
He is the One who’s closer than my jugular vein (Qaf:16)

Ya Allah, please forgive your very sinful ‘abd
My hope is to be among the believers
In Your beautiful Janna
Never have I wished for Your hellfire
Neither Your anger

Indeed this soul longs for Your love and blessings

staNdinG fiRm in isLam...

“Ye are the best of peoples, evolved for mankind, enjoining what is right, forbidding what is wrong, and believing in Allah. If only the People of the Book had faith, it were best for them: among them are some who have faith, but most of them are perverted transgressors- sadaq Allah Al-Azeem-God Almighty speaks the truth. Al-e-imran (the family of 'imran, the house of 'imran 3:110)

dia siap boleh baring kat riba mak. Malas nak baca, layan dengar je la mak bertilawah. Mak cakap dengar tilawah quran pun boleh dapat pahala, in order to make herself felt better, dia pun tadah telinga je la walau memang kepala dah berat tak ingat- crazily sleepy and extremely lazy, a norm in her daily life.

“pernah tak dengar citer serigala dengan kambing?”- mak tanya usai melipat telekung dan menggantung sejadah. Huh? Dah sampai bed-time story ke ni? Rase macam tak dinner lagi- dia menala pandang ke jam dinding, baru pukul 8. ayah kat masjid lagi, malam ni malam jumaat, terus ayah tunggu isya’ kat sane.

“common la mak citer tuh, ade a flock of sheep and a wolf. This wolf would really keen on preying those young fragile innocent lamb yang tengah meragut rumput. But they were in a big group, cammane ek nak kidnap satu buat meal? Fikir punya fikir our intelligent wolf then got an absolute brilliant idea. He would wait till the sheep scattered over the grass field-forming smaller groups. And he would further wait patiently till one of the smaller groups tore apart- tunggu sampai ade anak2 kambing yang tatau jalan, tersesat, diverted away from its parents. Nanti kalau that lamb tinggal seekor nanti, barulah that wolf would launch an attack a.k.a an ambush.” Mendongak memandang mama yang dah siap menyusun telekung di rak. Mak angguk. Errr, mak nak dengar lagi ke? Ish, bed-time story sape nih?

“time tuh, mane boleh lari lagi mak. By comparing the size pun one can tell, a small lamb would not stand a chance to protect itself from becoming a prey to the hunger and aggressive wolf. Kalau boleh lari, very lucky la, one very fortunate lamb. But generally based on the predator-prey nature, kalau serigala tu dah aimed skit punyer lama dengan penuh kesabaran dan istiqamah, mane nak kasik lepas macam tu je.”

‘then lets try to relate that story-the one that you just told to the real world scenario.” Finally mak decided to become the jury and asked a cepu emas question to her daughter yang merangkap peserta pertandingan bercerita pada malam jumaat itu.

Alamak, apekah? Urmmm sabar tangga kejayaan kut, ke usaha pasti jaya? Hurrmmm adekah value of the story is tak pandai bela kambing nanti kene makan serigala? Ish...............
“ok, time’s up. Kalau tunggu dia bagi jawapan alamat tak dinner la semua orang dalam rumah ni.”- along dari dapur sesedap rase menyindir.

“It’s simple, listen...kenapa kambing tu kene makan?” “sebab memang makanan serigala?” bagi soalan balik kat mak yang dengan itu kene pukulan mak kat bahu walau tak de la sakit sangat. “pandai la. Sebab dia sensorang kat kawasan yang sunyi, tak de orang lalu nak tolong dia kalau ade anything happened. Kenape dia sensorang?” Ok, this time she tried to come out with some kinda mature answer “because it separated from its clan, made its own way somehow” “then?” “Once it’s away, isolated, it automatically became an easy target. Vulnerable, no back up squad to lend a hand. Diverted from its usual grassing location, unfamiliar place to the poor lamb but a very well recognized by the wolf. The predator won technically and tactically. He got the strength and intelligence. Sekian, terima kasih.” Kepala ditundukkan ala2 bagi hormat at the end of the performance.

Sekarang turn mak pulak nak bagi critics, mak mula buat muka serious “ tu bukan sebarang cerita. Itu perumpaan peranan syaitan ke atas manusia.Sesungguhnya syaitan itu adalah serigala bagi manusia seperti serigala terhadap kambing. Ia menyerang kambing yang jauh dan memencilkan diri. Kena hindari berpecah belah, kena berjemaah, bersama orang ramai dan melazimkan diri dengan masjid.”

Ouch! guessed that she got mum’s point. It was so obvious mak tengah tegur dia yang malas pergi mengaji kat rumah tok mah plus penyegan nak ikut mak ke masjid time ada cermah. Kan dah terkena batang hidung sendiri. Macam bagus je cerita siap dengan gaya dan intonasi, tapi rupanya tengah kutuk diri sendiri...Congrats 100x-dialah the unfortunate hampeh lamb-sengaja jauh daripada jemaah, nak isolate kan diri, senang lenang tengok tv kat rumah. Rupa2nya dah jadi mangsa syaitan, yang berjaya menghasut diri supaya jadi pemalas tegar dalam amal ibadah. Ceh ceh.

Kepala ditunduk. “ye mak, got your point already. Clear as crystal. Tak mo dah ponteng2 mengaji, orang ikut la mak nanti bebila mak pi dengar ceramah.” Mata mak mencerun “jangan jadi macam kambing yang lain pulak.” huh? Tak faham. “jangan jadi macam kambing2 yang len yang survived from the attack. After the incident those sheep remained in a big group-sorta safety measure. But after awhile, they started to forget things. Mula meragut rumput merata-rata. Not really in a big clan but scattered forming smaller groups. At the end, the history repeated itself. Again another lamb would become a victim.”

“sebab ape?” dia geleng. “sebab bukan kambing yang disuruh beristiqamah dalam kumpulan (jemaah), bukan jugak kambing yang disuruh saling ingat mengingat antara satu kambing dengan yang lain.. That’s why they never learned, tend to forget and fell to the predator.”

Allah said: "Accepted is your prayer (O Moses and Aaron)! So stand ye straight, and follow not the path of those who know not." Jonah 10:89

"Therefore stand firm (in the straight Path) as thou art commanded,- thou and those who with thee turn (unto Allah); and transgress not (from the Path): for He seeth well all that ye do."Hud 11:112

ya Allah, my Lord. indeed it's so difficult for me to stand firm (istiqamah) in your deen.

"I will mislead them, and I will create in them false desires; I will order them to slit the ears of cattle, and to deface the (fair) nature created by Allah." Whoever, forsaking Allah, takes satan for a friend, hath of a surety suffered a loss that is manifest."An nisa’ 4:119

In an authentic hadith, it was reported by Imam At-Timithi that the prophet (S.A.W.) used to say frequently this supplication, "O Allah, The One who changes hearts, make my heart firm on your deen. "

"O our Lord, do not make our hearts go astray after you had guided us."

"O our Lord, bless us with patience and help make our feet firm."

amin

-the chronic inflammation of iman syndrome- hope not lead to necrosis, a'uzubillahi min dzalik-

taNya paDa diRi...

Tanya kat diri sendiri
Apa aku nak lagi
Suruh mengaji aku bilang busy
Ajak dengar tazkirah aku kata nak study
Bila time usrah aku cabut lari
Ada muhasabah aku geleng tak nak pergi

Aku bertanya diri
Aku nak ape lagi
Ade ta’lim aku cakap ‘sorry’
Ceramah agama aku buat tak peduli
Aku bilang tak cukup masa nak baca notes nanti

Rupa-rupanya aku goyang kaki

Bersenang lenang layan movie

Tanya lagi kat diri

sampai bile nak jadi macam ni
Bila time shopping aku galak sekali
Berhabis sakan tak sedar diri
Bergossip mengumpat aku tumpang sekaki

dosa pahala aku letak tepi

Aku bertanya diri
Apa-apalah yang aku nak lagi
Ke mall sampai berjuta kali
Tak pernah sangsi atau bilang rugi
Aku bagi alasan nak hilang tensi

Sekali beli menimbun tinggi

Aku bertanya diri
Ape sebab aku malas sangat ni
Dalam ibadah berdiam diri
Tukar bab lagha aku tak tunggu lagi
Ajak sekali aku nak lagi

permainan duniawi dekat di hati

Aku tanya kat diri
Apa aku tunggu lagi
Dah cukup ke amalan ni
Budget macam standard dah tinggi
kalah kat syaitan sampai macam tu sekali

Buat jahat dah jadi hobi

Tanya lagi kat diri
Dah sedia ke nak mengadap Ilahi
Dah teguh ke iman di hati
Dah berbakul ke amalan suci

Ape pulak nak bawak ke kubur nanti
Sampai aku derhaka begitu begini

Ape, aku dah tak ingat mati

Cuba tengok alam ini

Kira nikmat yang Tuhan kasi
Perati pada kebesaran Rabbi
Juga pada kerdilnya diri
Apesal aku tak berterima kasih lagi

Afala tasykuruuun……………………………….why are you not grateful??????????????

"And remember! your Lord caused to be declared (publicly): "If ye are grateful, I will add more (favours) unto you; But if ye show ingratitude, truly My punishment is terrible indeed." - abraham, 14:07