For all the girls around the world – happy women’s day
Don’t let the demands and expectations to cut you open.
‘Grandma, what it feels to be a woman?’ Dia memandang sekilas. Melakar senyuman. ‘women are among Allah’s most beautiful creation. But it depends on how you make used of your talent, mind and what do you fill your heart with,’
anak kecil itu termenung, menggeleng perlahan tanda tidak mengerti. ‘If you think what makes you beautiful in the eyes of others is merely due to your physical appearance, then that is what you are. 24/7 you will keep on thinking how to fulfill others’ expectation on you. Wasting your time just to ensure that your face is perfectly touch-up by artificial products and digging for sources of money just to accomplish your desires for cloth and jewelry. But at the end, you know despite of all the attentions given, they just love the way you move, your body but soul. No respect, neither they will cherish you as a human being, but only as an object. Your heart will grow empty and emptier as the time goes by and you started to regret every single attention that you had gotten because not any of them was due to concern, just lust.’
Berhenti sejenak, mengambil nafas sambil mata memerhati dedaunan hijau dan bunga-bungaan yang tumbuh mekar dalam tamannya. Pandangan tertumpu pada riang gembiranya sekumpulan burung-burung beterbangan pulang ke sarang bagi memenuhi perut anak-anak yang kelaparan.
‘But if you think that you are not an object to be pursued but a human being to be respected, then you should start to fight and gain others’ respect. No matter how the world might turn into, you will have your own point of view, your own stand and stick to it because you know right in your heart, it is the right thing to do and it is the truth – you won’t bother to be the wannabes as you completely understand to be a blind follower, either you are plain stupid or completely mad but to be a leader and to let the world to here your words, you should be a girl with pride and dignity’
kadang – kadang akan tergelincir, mungkin telah dan sedang tergelincir dari jalan yang sepatutnya, tapi itu bukanlah alasan untuk terus selamanya tidak betah bangun dari kegagalan dan memulakan langkah baru. Memang banyak kesalahan dan kesilapan yang seorang makhluk bergelar perempuan boleh lakukan, dalam sehari-hari, dalam seumur hidup, dan kadang-kadang apa yang pernah berlaku ketara bukan untuk menggembirakan diri sendiri tapi sekadar memuaskan hati orang lain.
Kenapa harus begitu?
‘pia, nenek ceitakan sebuah kisah ye sayang?’ sambil memimpin tangan si anak kecil ke arah buaian di bawah pohonan sena, menikmati bayu petang yang nyaman dan segar.
A story to describe the meaning of happiness.
This story of a young adolescent girl had begun in the high school, most common scenario in the planet. Some girls were queen bees and the rest were wannabes. Yeah, makeup, dress-up, prom night, cheerleaders and there came the word, ‘popularity’. Every one wanted the attention from others even in the wrong way. Dare to put aside their culture, courtesy or even religion. Bring them down to their hill; hide it deep down inside and drawn in the temporary thrill and enjoyment. At the end, yeah...she was succeeded in becoming the most popular one among the footballers; even the captain couldn’t keep his eyes from her. She eagerly wanted to be part of this popular people in the school and desperately befriended them.
She treated them nicely. Bought them presents, celebrated their birthday, wished them well for their league, cooked for them when they were sick, be with them when they were down, gave them supports and free advices when they dumped and got dumped and came to their party, just to look cool. For the acceptance, to be among them, so that others would know her existence, they wouldn’t dare to call her names, criticize her dress or laugh at her fashion, make-up or hairstyle. No more the word ‘naive’ or ‘good innocent kampong girl’. She was willingly to sacrifice every thing she had just to let others in the club to recognize her: dyed her hair red, went for make over when one of them complained that the skirt she wore, was too long and ugly, when others said that her top was from 80s and the rest said that she should try to be a little bit open and up dated herself with the latest fashion in the town.
And what did she get? Sometimes they came to her when they needed her but most of the time they were all having their own sweet time, hanging out with other girls or doing their guy-things. When she was alone, there was no one to hold her. Why? Because she knew that in order to achieve the fame and to be acknowledged, she had thrown her kind-hearted friends away, she was so embarrassed to be found with them, she didn’t even greet them when she bumped into them, passed by and pretended that she never knew them in her life. She did not have real friends that really listened to her words. What she was, was what others wanted for she, her opinion was not matter. It was weird that she was popular but she was alone and she could feel the loneliness inside. She kept asking herself, ‘Are you happy, girl?’
Later in her life, after 10 years, she became a very successful young lady in her field. She was rich, pretty, talented and smart. Every man on the street swore that she was the hottest lady they had ever met. They tried to woo her, impress her with all the cheesy words and never-ending promises, spent their money on 5-star candlelight dinner and expensive gifts. They wanted to be with her, to stand beside her, to date her because they said, ‘girl, you really have to know this. I met so many women in my life, and never one of them had caught my eye. When the first time I laid my eyes on you, I just knew it. That deep down in my heart, you are the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, you are the girl of my life, and meant to be mine.’
But they never knew her secret. Just to be at that level, everybody’s girlfriend, she had risked everything in her life. Thousands of dollars she spent on designed clothes and branded cosmetics so that they could notice her. They never knew, so many time she wasted, standing in front of the mirror, worrying that she might not slim enough, beautiful enough, observing every inch of her skin looking for scars, pimples and aging line. So many nights she wished upon the shooting stars to wake up the next morning with a gorgeous look so that she could hear people mentioned the word ‘pretty’ dedicated only for her. Sometimes, she was crying that she was hungry and craving for her favorite food but she just couldn’t eat that because it was just not in her diet. She walked passed the boutique, stopped by and wondering would they be pleased if she was in that dress. She knew how it killed her to live up to their expectations but she prayed in silent that she could make them happy – prayed very hard for it because she thought, it could make her happy too.
She would do everything that she could just to impress them. And she was lucky that they were falling for her, looking at her, crazy about her and even dreamt of her. They smiled at her and they made such funny jokes so that she would smile back at them. But it was weird, something was missing, after such a really long game, after all the effort she made and the money she had wasted, never any of them came to her and asked her hand in marriage. None of them ever had a plan to invite her for family dinner or mention the word ‘wedding’ or ‘marriage’ before her. Never had they talked about their wedding dreams, their dreamed home, starting a family and having children later in future. She swore it was never, even once. Again, she looked upon the mirror, standing still, and the loneliness embraced her once again. Yes, she was happy when they were around, struggled and competed with each other to win her heart and attention, to sweet talk her and poured her with compliments. But why none of them came with commitment? She couldn’t help but wondering, ‘Girl, who are you to them? Do you have a place in their heart or you just a medal to be won? Are you happy, girl?’
Years had gone by. She already reached her 40s. At the old age, nothing more that she wanted in her life. All the glamor had vanished, the fame had gone. The only thing that remained was the loneliness and an empty space inside her heart. But those too, were faded. It was weird despite of her condition: no more compliments from the hunks in the town, no more designed outfits, neither branded cosmetics, she felt the happiness inside. Despite of multiple aging lines and wrinkles scattered everywhere on her chubby face and running out of perfect body shape, she still could be grateful to her Lord for all His countless blessings and run life satisfyingly. The empty space was about to be filled, the hole was getting smaller. The night came without the feeling of loneliness. She woke up with a great smile – nope, not because of getting back her youth, but impatiently went to the next room just to ensure that her grandchildren really had their sleep. It was amazing, that she could just skip jogging and passionately prepared the breakfast, very early in the morning. She was no longer worried about her shape and sometimes forgot about gaining weight each time the kids asked her to accompany them eating the meals, the sweet smile that she would give each time they compliment her, not for her look but for the food.
Her opinion did matter, they would listen to her. They talked about schools, league, friends, their summer camp, winter trip and spring break. She knew that they loved her, and this time was for real. Not because of her body but because of who she had become inside. They appreciated the talent, her thinking and intelligence even they had no money to buy her exclusive presents or to reserve a prestigious place to celebrate her birthday. Even the only thing that they could give was a strawberry-topping donut from their school canteen or a cup of vanilla ice-cream and a bar of chocolate from the hawker outside the house. Finally, she found her own happiness, glad to know that she could now really rest in peace. Too much of her life was wasted, looking for happiness, only to know that the happiness was not about cloth, make-up or shoe but it was all about willingness to accept the one that a person loved regardless of his condition. Yes, she had learnt it in a very long suffering way but it was never too late to reach for the sky and stare at the beautiful colors of the rainbows. It was never late to attain happiness; the rainbows were never missing, always formed after the rain. The man she married to, had an ordinary face, nothing special with his look but glad to know that he was the best that she could have, the most sincere person ever.
Sometimes, she kept on laughing at her foolishness. How could she ever misinterpret the entire concept of happiness? She got a very beautiful lesson in her life:
‘The happiness is there, before the eye. Go and grab it. Never let anybody to stop you.
Just be yourself, and let others to accept you the way you are’
Dia menggamit dan melambai perlahan ke arah seseorang yang tenang menjatuhkan pandang melihat keindahan kolam tearatai milik mereka sambil menunjuk ke arah cucunya. Tersenyum senang lelaki itu melihat Pia tenang tidur di sampingnya. Mengajak suaminya untuk segera masuk ke dalam rumah setelah matahari semakin terbenam.
this one's for the girls - martina mcbride
High school can be so rough, can be so mean
Hold onto, on to your innocence
Stand your ground when everyone's giving in
This one's for the girls
This is for all you girls about twenty-five
In a little apartment, just trying to get by
Living on, on dreams and spaghetti-o's
Wondering where you life is gonna go
This one's for the girls
Who've ever had a broken heart
Who've wished upon a shooting star
You're beautiful the way you are
This one's for the girls
Who love without holding back
Who dream with everything they have
All around the world
This one's for the girls
This is for all you girls about forty-two
Tossing pennies into the Fountain of Youth
Every laugh, laugh line on your face
Made you who you are today
Yeah, we're all the same inside
From 1 to 99
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