bLuR...

Blur... really x 10 to da power of wutsoever. Time2 blur ni la rase macam summer sifat mazmumah (wickedness) are breaking their dormancy and actively making their way from latent state into lytic cycle (from ground state to excited state? - tu rase dah macam gune physics terms) Dunno. Rasa nak marahlah, stressed up dan ntahpapantah lagi.

“Jika engkau tak menyibukkan diri dengan kebenaran,maka dirimu akan disibukkan dengan yang batil” - Imam Syafi’ie.

Ouch, that hurts.
Memang pun da whole weekend asyik busy memanjang, busy pasal dunia and da consequences of da marathon-mengejar-dunia thingy : severe headache and extreme depression, not to mention lack of sleep and of course ibadah. Tetiba macam suffered from emotional damage. Down semacam. Rase tersisihla, tak dihargailah, terpinggir la and bla..bla..bla..sumer sibuk. Tak de mase for each other. Terlupa nak mengingatiNYA jugak. Paling hampagas, terabai amal maaruf nahi mungkar (Enjoining Good and Forbidding Evil) dalam menyibukkan diri dengan hal dunia.

"And let there be (arising) from you a nation inviting to (all that is) good, enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong, and those will be the successful." (3:104)

Those above are the feelings for today and the mode selected: dun mess with me or get killed. Okeh, sounds so sadistic. Tak, sebab bile bad mood mesti rasa macam nak marah. So, before anyone gets snapped better keeps da distance. Prevention is always better than cure.

And da best therapy is always from Allah. Bile rasa dah tak tenteram sangat to high heaven barula teringat nak solat sunatla (sunnah/ optional prayer), nak tilawah Quran la (recitation of holy Quran), nak doa bebanyak la, nak infaqlah (giving in da way of Allah),

“You will not attain true goodness until you give of what you love and whatever ye give, of a truth Allah knoweth it well.” (Al ‘Imran, 3:92)

dan lain2 lagi yang sama species dengannnya. It’s His promise: nak cari solace, find and seek for it only from Him. Insya Allah, (God’s will) He will grant u peacefulness and calmness sooner or later. By hook or by crook.

“Who have believed and whose hearts have rest in the remembrance of Allah. Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest!” – ar Ra’d (the thunder) 13:28

Makanya here she is. In da middle of campus mosque, wearing her telekong ingat nak buat solat sunat dhuha (prayer of da period between sunrise and noon). Performing prayer and praying hard are the most beautiful things to do when the alarm is ringing, making her alert that the iman-threatening species is in da house damaging the faith system!

Tengah solat, tetiba telekung is reluctant to cooperate effectively with her. Longgar plak, but then can’t blame da telekung. (Expected. It’s not mine anyway. Masjid punye). Bile ruku’ ke, sujud ke, telekung tu tertarik ke depan dan ke depan and the end result is she exactly looks like an alien from Pluto stranded sum where in Honolulu. Tak nampak muka dah, tertutup dengan telekong.

Memang bile rasa terasing dan tak dipeduli, do go and tell ur Lord bout it. He will always have ways to make u feel better. Tetiba je time duduk antara 2 sujud ade plak rase tangan tolong tarikkan telekung ke belakang, betulkan tali yang terikat kat belakang telekung. Frankly speaking tadi confirmed rasa macam unwanted, unneeded, being neglected and abandoned, tak dipedulikan, emptiness.

Alih2 rasa macam ade jugak orang yang nak ambik berat kat diri. Tak sangka pulak ada orang teperasan problem between her and the telekung. Rase gembira kat diri sendiri sebab rasa macam ade je orang yang concern kat diri ni dan disayangi - walaupun hanya dengan membetulkan telekung yang took less than 1 minute exactly. “seminit sentuhan lebih bermakna daripada 5 minutes kata2?”- guess so.

Kuar je dari masjid, lebih bersemagat. Mood alteration to the positive one. Really wanna thank Him for the changes, thanks to whoever sis yang berjasa sangat tolong betulkan telekung. Dah boleh senyum dah. Dah tak bad mood lagi. Tu la agaknya yang orang cakap
“Sum times the reason of ur smiles is the least expected...”

p/s : some said, a human related to others via emotion, not merely based on intellectuality. Spiritual and belief are part of emotion (personal opinion not based on scientific or wut not). Sum times we do feel lonely, unappreciated, pretty mess every here and there, every now and then. Just remember, manusia lupa kat kite, abaikan kite ntah2 sebab kite sendiri pun dah lupa padaNYA. Terlebih bersuka-suki, intoxicated dengan keseronokkan dunia dan being totally deceived dengan cinta manusia yang tak habis2 dan bergelak ketawa tak sudah2.

But thank Allah for providing a beautiful, special form of negative feedback mechanism. Bile dah terlebih huha2, dan2 rase sedih tak tentu pasal. Emo la pulak. Tapi time vulnerable state tu barula rase nak rethink and recollect diri sendiri, nak buat muhasabah (self-critics) bebanyak, feeling guilty and regretting own sins, nak ingat Allah frequently.

Allah al Mighty. This is not merely about the physiology of human body which keeps the balance of the internal environment. It’s more toward spirituality. The negative feedback here keeps oneself on da rite track, helps to abide by holy Koran and the tradition of prophet (pbuh), assists in correcting the erroneous parts and improving the weak points- to fix things up, leading humans to HIM with guilt, shyness and modesty (haya) are the parameters. Just dun lose them, sebab nanti buat dosa banyak pun dah tak rase pape.

Narrated by Abu Huraira (ra): The Prophet said, "Faith (Belief) consists of more than sixty branches (i.e. parts). And Haya (This term "Haya" covers a large number of concepts which are to be taken together; amongst them are self respect, modesty, bashfulness, and scruple, etc.) is a part of faith." (Bukhari)

Our Prophet (saw) said: "Haya does not bring anything except good." (Bukhari)

"Haya comes from eeman; eeman leads to Paradise. Obscenity comes from antipathy; and antipathy leads to the fire." (Bukhari)